Just another manic monday

Three years without sex and counting ... well couting down.
The problem is that I'm waay too shy to meet someone. And besides how can I deal with the isssue and my daughter without mentioning the fact that I hardly know anyone in Chile.
If it weren't for my middle finger ...
And yes, my vibrator . I'd be bananas.
I spent the week end taking care of my brothers greenhouse, wee keep flora in the verge of extintion, we even have Araucarias, this prehistoric huge tree, of course baby araucarias. Also spices and medicinal herbs and real aloe. It's a lot of work watering them in 5000 sq mts, but worth it . I usually go up with other kids who play with my daugher while I work.
The woods are great it's in a place called "laguna verde" (green lagoon). We're surrounded by wild life. From hawks who love barbecue's left overs and dog food, to wild rabbits and quails, sometimes hunted not only by local dogs, but the local birds which are not afraid of us any more, not even of the dogs. Of course I do not own cats.
Now I'm back to my one bedroom flat from monday to friday, still looking for a part time job. Yes, I miss the forest on week days.

industries

Another day, an crisis is coming up, an energy crisis. There s no gas for industries, seems as is neighbouring countries are cutting of exports to damage local industry, or just plain bad luck. well, fares shall go up ......
I decided to quit smoking for the 100th time, this time I'm getting those nicotine whaterver, chewing gums or pads, whaterved. I just want to quit smoking. My lungs want a break, I wish someone had been clearer and more specific about tobacco smoking aftereffects. And the worst thing is having, like now, a lady light a cigarrete just in front of me, gosh, I need chewing gum. i don t believe in weather forecasts anymore I was meant to rain yesterday. And that s why I never watered the plant in the mountais of laguna verde, I have a green house with native flora and other organic grown plants. But if rain doesn t show up soon , not much of it willl be left. Gosh, another one is lighting a cigarrete.
I have the flu, just had raw onions for breakfast, It did help breathe easier, but no social life today as far as I'm concerned.
Today will be a long non smoking day ....
I 'm looking for a job via internet, but It seems to work more in developed countries than here. I guess I ll just keep on giving free english lessons.
I lived in this country for over 6 years, and I still feel sooo lonely at times, I have to admit that my social live has experienced an increase due mostly to my daughter entering school. But they re sooo diferent at times.
I miss my family.

The first day.

It gets to feel weird when you're the only female around with a lap top using the even weirder WiFi facilities.
I do fell akward still on a personal level, I don't know how to start. I thought It would be easier, seguro.
The first heavy rainfall of the year is approaching, here in Chile we're entering winter. Here when it gets cloudy, the weather seems to be gentler, but as soon as the sky gets cleared, the so called southern wind (as it were coming from the south pole) freezes every one. I live in the fairy town of Renhaca, where no poverty is to be seen around. Contrasting with the views that are waiting for me this afternoon, when I take food to the dogs up in the mountain> When going by car you sometimes come across the human tolls, called "peaje" here. Where poor and not very honest youngsters, and not so young ones, do not let you continue, they do stop the car. Until you toss them coins, to be ussually spent on drugs, likely pasta or alcohol. But here on the leather couch, that reality feels sooo far away.
It was hard coming back to this city, I must admit that my present situation has made social intercourse easier. When I first got here 6 years ago people weren't that friendly, specially women, well now I'm not only older but heavier, still cute though, and survived a violent marriage. I do admit I hate it when people fell sorry for me. I like to believe that I'm a surviver. They should have felt sorry for me when I was living with the son of a bith who beat me and I was so depressed, shocked, embarrassed, to do anything. Still difficult in a machista country, divorce only exists since last year. And the best schools around are ruled by nuns and priests.
MY daughter brought me back to reality, she helped me get on my feet, and when she turned 1, I was strong enough to walk on my own. Now she's turning 4 next month. I was lucky, she s always been with family around, and now I think I can manage with a part time job for a while.
I still can t tink of a relationship yet. I'm doomed to have sex on my own, with my faithful middlefinger sometimes helped with a vibrating machine, of course; specially after a hard working day, no hand can move as fast as required :)
I guess that's too much information, and boy I didn't even start talcking about politics ....
Chile might have a breakthrough, It might have a female president, which is good; both female candidates are right , the only problem is that they both belong to the one that has been the ruling party for the past 15 years or so, ever since Pinochet.